


In a Hallway Where There Are No Evil Pixies Bent on World Domination & Other Stories

by Rarepair_Debonair



Category: Artemis Fowl - Eoin Colfer
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-15
Updated: 2021-01-20
Packaged: 2021-03-13 09:41:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,506
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28776231
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rarepair_Debonair/pseuds/Rarepair_Debonair
Summary: Hartemis drabbles for the shipper on-the-go!  No overarching plot. Updated Sporadically.Drabble #1: In a Hallway Where There Are No Evil Pixies Bent on World Domination- In which a bad morning gets a lot better.Drabble #2: Friday Night- A tale of soirees, ditching dates, and unresolved feelings.Drabble #3: Distracted- Featuring one absent-minded fairy Major and one impatient criminal mastermind.NEW!Drabble #4: The Proposal- In which a karaoke bar doesn't know what it's dealing with...This fic follows the Ethical Shipping Principle: all characters depictions are 18+ and up.  In fact Artemis is always at least 21 years old.
Relationships: Artemis Fowl II/Holly Short
Comments: 8
Kudos: 18





	1. In a Hallway Where There Are No Evil Pixies Bent on World Domination

**Author's Note:**

> Interested in joining a community of Hartemis shippers? Then please come and join us at a Spark of Decency on Discord! Link: https://discord.gg/MPbmPAJ8yn

It was a terrible morning.

Five meetings, a presentation to the Council for his Ice Cube project, and a barely-contained explosion while he, Foaly, and Qwan were running tests on No. 1. And it wasn’t even lunchtime yet. Artemis needed a break. 

But where to go? He’d just left the Ops Booth. He’d be ogled at outside Police Plaza. And he was definitely not going to the cafeteria again. Not after the Sweartoad Incident. His socks were still vaguely slimey.

Without realizing it, Artemis had found himself in a much older part of Police Plaza. The old corridor hadn’t even received the new LEP Fresh Start paint job. 

“You look like you just wrestled a troll.”

Artemis turned around to see his best friend smirking up at him. Holly looked sharp, confident even- she must have been having a better day than he had. He sighed out something that was a mix of jealousy and relief.

“Nothing that terrible. Though I honestly wouldn’t be surprised given the way things are going.”

Holly’s face went from upbeat to concerned. She reached out and cupped the left side of his face.

“Bad day?” said Holly.

“Bad morning, technically,” said Artemis.

Holly looks around the corridor. No officers. No cameras. No evil pixies bent on world domination. 

She stands on her tiptoes and kisses him. Both of them close their eyes. This new part of their friendship- this breathtaking, impossible, unspoken part- was barely a week old. And yet Artemis somehow knew he would never tire of it. Not ever. 

She breaks the kiss. They were both smiling now. It seemed Holly Short’s happiness was a contagious thing.

“You owe me for that one, Fowl.”

“Dinner after work?”

“And a movie.”

“Oh how will the Fowl finances ever recover?”

She laughs and punches his shoulder goodbye. Evidently there was business she had to attend to on this floor.

He inhales deeply and closes his eyes. What was it that he was stressed out about again?

It was a great morning.


	2. Friday Night

In Copenhagen there's a soiree. And somehow he's there, surrounded by strangers. 

Boredom, annoyance, and longing- Artemis' cocktail of the evening. One he's grown sick of. It makes him unpleasant. His exit is unceremonious.

In the Bentley, Butler feels it's his duty to say something.

"There was no need to lash out at that girl, Artemis. She was only trying to make you feel more welcome."

The young man looks away from him. Butler knows shame when he sees it. Especially his charge's.

Deep down, he knows the reason why he acted that way tonight. And deep down, he feels he must disabuse him of that reason.

"There isn't a girl on the surface of the planet you couldn't have, Artemis. Why does it have to be Her?"

Outside the window, rain blurs the streets of Copenhagen. Street lamps turn into impressionist fireflies. Artemis keeps staring out the window.

"Because She makes things better, Butler. She's the only one who ever has."

***

In Haven it's another week over with. Another week where the People are still a secret- another week where the LEP's survived by the skin of its teeth.

She's taken to the bottle again. And again, Foaly's the one who picks her up from Golding's at 2 in the morning.

In the van, he can't help but comment.

"Trouble's not gonna be happy you ditched him."

She mumbles something about notgivingafuck. 

He's never liked seeing her this way. Especially not over Him. The boy wasn't worth Holly's time.

"You need to forget about Him, Holly. You can't keep doing this every week- I can't keep doing this every week."

She finally makes eye contact with him. What he's said is enough to break through her sim-wine haze. She's tired- from the week, from the alcohol, from the past six years.

"I don't get to pick who I miss, Foaly. I wish it were that easy."


	3. Distracted

_"Whelp, I've got to get going. Orders were to just deliver the report to you." Yawn- stretch- button press._

**"I'm well aware of the procedure by now, Major. Do visit again soon- I would prefer a social call." Swivel- turn- monitor blue.**

_Wings activated. Hovering._ **Fingertips clacking. Typing.**

_"Goodbye Artemis."_

**"Yes, yes, farewell Holly. Love you." Plotting, scheming, typing.**

_"Yeah, yeah, love you too." Out the window- flying, soaring._

_**Wait.** _

_**What did I just say?** _


	4. The Proposal

You picked a helluva night to skip out on work, Ricky. What? No. The old man didn't give us any raises. No- really you missed out. Someone did a public proposal last night! Yes! Right at the bar! And they paid for TWO rounds of drinks!

Right so the guy was your typical Wall Street type. Custom suit, slicked back hair, all that Great Gatsby jazz. Didn't want to look ridiculous so he put a cape on and had this big ass helmet over his head. Looked like he had a red pill for a head. John said the guy was the Red Hood from Batman or something? Some nerd shit like that. I don't read comics.

Anyway the girl he was with- man! You should've seen her costume. It was this SciFi jumpsuit straight outta Starship Troopers. Y'know the one with Tom Cruise? No I'm not thinking of _Live. Die. Repeat._ Though, y'know, she probably could've given Emily Blunt a run for money. What? A girl can look! Don't worry I didn't do anything unprofessional. She wasn't exactly my type either. But uh we'll get to that. Besides you should've seen her last night. Couldn't keep her eyes off Mr. Hood. 

Anyway so those two come in and behind them comes this horde of some of best cosplayers I've even seen. And I've been to New York Comic Con. These guys were legit. I don't know what movie or book they were doing but those were some convincing costumes. These two guys came in as this centaur? Didn't split their costume once last night. Some real method shit. And the elves! I kept asking them where they bought their ears because _I've been on Etsy_ and I don't know anyone who makes ears _that_ high quality. I've looked. It's literally the last thing I need for my genderbent Legolas cosplay and those bastards wouldn't spill.

Oh right! Yeah wow can't believe I almost forgot this. You know who else was here last night? C'mon guess! No, try again- we watch her on the TV every day. Warmer. Different channel. Right! THE Jade Princess! The current reigning champ! You missed out dude. Big time.

So anyway Mr. Hood and Ms. Trooper got things rolling and started rocking it out on the karaoke machine- just absolutely crushing it. You've never seen a better rendition of _Don't Go Breaking My Heart_. The other guys were phenomenal too. This little demon dude sang _We Didn't Start the Fire_ blindfolded! Yeah! Like a crazy person! The Jade Princess and this massive guy, six feet tall? Seven feet? Anyway they started out alright but then the big guy got really into and by the end of _Moskau_ the entire room was going nuts. Everyone was getting pretty sloshed at this point and this real military type- everyone kept calling him Commander- got up and started singing _Come Sail Away by Styx._ They even dragged the old man and me into the last verse!

Anyway, just when we thought things couldn't get any crazier Mr. Hood gets up, takes his helmet off, hits his glass with his spoon, and tells everyone he has a "most important proposition to offer." Guy gets down on one knee in front of Ms. Trooper, goes over this long spiel about how they've been through thick and thin, how he was a broken boy and yadda yadda yadda all that mushy crap, and then pulls out a box. Boom. Fanciest ring I've ever seen. Ms. Trooper's holding back tears at this point getting all choked up and when Mr. Hood pops the question? She punches his face, shouts "Yes you idiot!", and the entire room just ERUPTS! Everyone was shouting congratulations in all these crazy languages. I know a bit of Hebrew and Italian but this was just nuts! I heard Spanish, French, Arabic, Japanese, Indonesian- hell I think I even heard Parseltongue!

I tell you man you need to stop taking Halloween night off. Second year in a row you missed out on something epic. Honestly, I doubt this bar's ever going to see a party that crazy ever again. Or tips that big. What this? Yeah, the elves paid in golden jewelry. The old man was too stunned to refuse.

Oh there's my ride! Hey Jules! This is Ricky. Yeah he's the idiot who wasn't here last night. Ricky this is Jules, the Jade Princess. Yeah let's just say we uh "met" last night. Well I've gotta go- ringside tickets to Rage in the Cage and all. Message you later! Have fun cleaning the washroom- this dwarf dude did a real number on it last night!

**Author's Note:**

> Interested in joining a community of Hartemis shippers? Then please come and join us at a Spark of Decency on Discord! Link: https://discord.gg/MPbmPAJ8yn


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